it is done...

"hey... who wanna join stand chart marathon? the 42km? we have to hurry to and sign up... before the early bird closes... "

"me... me... me... i wan to join 42km marathon..." as i keyed in the debit card number, i knew that if i want to finish the run with grace and dignity, i really need to train...

and trained hard i did.... as least for the first few weeks... i was very onz... i made myself a calender and a training schedule... about how much distance to cover per week and stuff... looked at website on running... bought myself a GT2110

then haze came... sigh... it turn the HQ into Genting... so foggy... haha.... it was actually quite romantic.... except for the smell... boy... was real irritated with it because i cant continue with my training... but it soon became convenient excuses.... anyway... the monsoon session took over and clear the sky of smog but filled it with rain.... again.. convenient excuses to skip training...

as days pass... i edited the countdown on my msn nickname... fear begins rises.... i had only cleared 19km during my so-called training... it is not even 50% of the marathon distance.... to make myself feel better, i said to myself... "at most walk lor... never mind what... can complete oredi an accomplishment" this thought actually calms me down! [it was a thought of defeat... a thought of giving up... bad thought!]

then came 2nd of Dec... the night where myself and Jan spent the night at zhengzhong's place before BIG day... ate lots of banana... drank lots of milk before sleeping... must be filled with carbo so that i will have energy to run... it feels kinda weird to sleep at 1230am... [for i have been sleeping at 4am lately] thank God that both Jan ZZ dun snore... haha... if not... how to sleep! haha...

at 4am... Jan's phone alarm rang... i opened my eyes... but i did not move a muscle... then i heard Jan turning off the alarm... silence... was expecting Jan to wake us up... silence... nothing happens... only the soft rumbling of vehicles in the distance.... i close my eyes.... expecting Jan to wake us a while later... maybe he just wan to snooze a little more...

420am... i woke up... the 2 are still sleeping... one of the biggest temptation revealed itself.... i want to give up... i just want to sleep in and then give the excuse that we over slept... it is not because of sleep... it is due to the fact that i know what is to come if i run the marathon... i can imagine all the pain... all the agony... the sweat.... the blistering sun.... the sheer torture.... i dun need to do that, do i? i am not obliged to run, am i? no one can force me to do so, can they?

i closed my eyes once again... suddenly... the story of Jesus praying in Gethesame came into my mind... Jesus being God... knows what is to come if He allows Himself to be captured.... i am sure He knows the physical pain... the insulting words from ppl... most impt of all... He knew that for a brief moment.... His Father will remove His Presence on Him... that perhaps is the greatest pain of all... but He remembered His purpose on earth... Jesus had volunteered Himself to save us... and i believe that had helped brought Jesus through... His sacrifice IS for the ones He loves...

i too remembered why i want to join the marathon... it is not the race that i am interested in... it is something that i want to do... i had lost the feeling of working hard for something... that persistence.. that determination... that spirit of wanting to complete something despite of hardship.... i had lost this feeling... i want to get it back... thus i prayed that through this physical breathrough... i too can have various breakthroughs in my life as well....

i am glad God reminded me of the story of Jesus's struggle as well... makes me feel at peace... that my God knows what i am going through and He had oredi set the example... :) anyway... if i dun wake jan and zz up... they will kill me as well! haha... most impt of all... i can never hold up my head if i were to give up...

oh oh... it was a spiritual breathrough because i prayed for 8km... haha.. at the 34km mark.. they actually ran out of DEEP HEAT! what is this man?!? no DEEP HEAT means that i had to endure the stinging pain in my right knee cap! how to complete marathon if every step i take is going to hurting like mad! but God somehow remove the pain.. and i was able to run and complete it... this dependence on God for comfort is in the physical sense.. but i know that spiritually and emotionally, God can provide the same as well!!!

thank God for the breakthrough... and i pray and commit my aching knee to the Lord... heal me and heal all those who suffered "marathonic" ailment. amen!